Remember Me?

Hello out there.  I bet you thought I gave up on this blog thing, didn't ya?!  Well...I did for awhile.  A lot has happened since my last post and I didn't know where to start.   But the dust has begun to settle, so here I am ready to tell all.

So...since the last time I wrote, we got pregnant.  The Follistim worked wonders for me.  I think my doctor was shocked at how well I responded.  I remember  after a Tommy Lee experience, I walked out of the exam room and the entire staff was looking at me strangely.  I think I'm a little bit of a freak of nature.  I have the 'egg supply of a 29-year old' and I responded to the drugs 'like a 25-year old egg donor,' according to my doc.  As it goes, we took the Follistim shots for roughly 5-7 days.  I went into see doc about every 2-3 days to have my blood tested for hormone levels that let's them know my follicles are growing and preparing for ovulation.  She reduced the amount of medicine per shot each time.  I started at 150 and was taken down to 50 by the end of the cycle.  We opted for the IUI, which is what they lovingly refer to as 'turkey basting.' My husband (would kill me if he knew I was writing this) ejaculated in a cup and we had to take it to the lab within an hour.  They told us to come back in 2 hours.  I didn't understand what they were doing for 2 hours, so I asked her.  During intercourse when sperm are released, the vagina has fluids that strip down each sperm to its purest form so fertilization can take place.  Well, this is what they did in the lab.  She said they scrubbed them clean and now they are all happy and ready to go.  Fascinating!  Anyway, so we took it upstairs to Dr. Lee and she 'turkey basted' me.  I laid there for a few minutes to help the little guys (and girls) swim.  Arthur and I held hands and talked about how we could possibly be making a baby right now.  It was a great moment.

Fast forward about 4 weeks, and we are pregnant...with twins.  OMG...the excitement, the overwhelming joy..it was an amazing time.  I was a human incubator and rubbed my tummy incessantly.  We made it to week 6, and the unthinkable happened.  I miscarried...both of them.  As you can imagine, we were heartbroken.  The worst part was after the D&C (do we all know what this is?), my hormones dropped so fast, I felt like I was going crazy for about a week.  I cried non-stop and had strange and scary thoughts.  Eventually, everything went back to normal.  The sadness persisted a little longer, until we were given the green light to start round 2.  I am at day 6 of the Follistim and everything seems to be going according to plan.  I'm not as excited as I was the first round, but I think that's a natural reaction to our situation.

So, to those of you out there in the same boat as me, if you need someone to talk to about your ordeal, someone that can relate, please don't hesitate to write me.   If you don't want to write on such an open forum, you can email me at roxannekjames@yahoo.com.  I think I reached out to every female I know trying to find some solace through this experience, and although I have wonderful friends who are extremely supportive and lovely all the way around, it would be nice to have someone to talk to that is going through the same experience as me at the exact same time.

Anyway, so there it is.  I hope this entry finds you all well, and for those of you trying for a baby, I hope the fertility Gods are smiling upon you.  Good luck!